Do you really need a laurel?

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from: [SCA_BARDS]
topic: Do you really need a laurel?
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Laurel-apprentice relationships can be a good thing. Laurel-apprentice relationships can be a bad thing. I’ve known people to return belts and vow „never again.“
It all depends on what you need – or think you need, your personality and the personality of the person you want to approach about mentoring.

Can you assign your own homework or do you need somebody to motivate you? Do you feel you need a mentor in your specific area of interest or just somebody who can guide you in terms of the nebulous but oh-so-necessary „Peer Like Qualities?“
In which case, you might think about approaching someone who’s a peer with expertise in another discipline. It’s not all that unconventional.
I know a dance laurel who had a bardic apprentice. She didn’t need him to assign homework or direct her to resources. What she needed was self confidence and a bit of moral support. If you live in an area without a peer in your chosen discipline, think about whether there’s someone else you look up to that you might want to approach.

Do you want to sit at the feet of one master or would you rather pick brains across the Known World?

We’re all students and we’re all teachers, leaves or not.
Can’t find a laurel? The buddy system works for boot camp and Weight Watchers. Find somebody to work with who ISN’T an expert, but is willing to root for you or boot you in the butt when you’re being lazy or compete with you or give you a place to lean when you’re feeling like the world sucks. Just remember, you have to buddy back.

Jehanne de Wodeford

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and another opinion:
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The important task isn’t finding a mentor (laurel, buddy,whatever), but in finding the RIGHT mentor.

My laurel is my buddy. He’s my brother. He’s my sounding board, my best and worst critic, and a massive source of information.

I originally apprenticed to my Laurel over twelve years ago. A year later, we split, over a variety of reasons, mostly having to do with communication issues. I went ten years without a laurel. At one point, I stopped writing music for over two years.

After that ten years went by, I finally took another green belt. Who from? The same laurel. HE is the right laurel for ME. Finding that person — the right person — isn’t easy.

One thing that you left off of that list is the one thing that I believe only a peer can teach — those elusive peer-like qualities. Fifteen years in the SCA, and I still don’t get ‚em right…

Purple
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opinions?